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;23rd of january.

i went home to snatch a few stuff for hockey.
on the way back to school, i saw this old man talking to a schoolboy at the overhead bridge. i think he was asking about something. when i got near, i approached him and the old man told me he wanted to know how to get to block 456. i told him what i know. i showed him where i THOUGHT the block would be. he said thanks and he went to the direction i pointed. but at the back of my mind, i didnt want to let him wandering off alone. so i told him, 'pakcik, saye check skejap ehh.' so i headed to the tpjc bustop to check whether any buses head to the place. but non. then he asked this other middleaged man and he told him that the block must be around *pointed to hfzdin's neighbourhood*. then i told the old man that i might know where it is. he requested i accompany him to the block. and so i did. i didnt wanna get lost especially with an old man who can barely walk fast. not that i hate it, i just dont want to burden him further. so i called hfzdin and only then was i sure where i was going. i walked him all the way from tpjc's sidegate to his block. all the way, we talked and shared stories. he asked where i lived, what my name was and where i was going. and i asked why he wanted to get to blk 456 (found that that was where he lives), where he was from and such. told me who he's living with and at what level. to tell u the truth, i was kinda afraid of telling him where i live (block AND storey) and what my name was. but there was something about him that makes me comfortable. and i swear, the journey was one of the longest ive had. i wud walk my normal pace and stop after awhile so he cud catch up cos i cudnt walk any slower. and at zebra crossings and road junctions, i wud wait for him and stop the car before walking with him. i was soooooooooooo scared to get him off my sight. when we finally reached our destination, he said thank you and i ushered him into the lift. and i didnt leave right away, i actually waited for the lift to reach the storey before leaving the place. haha. i got damn worried shit and i have no idea whyyyyyy.
but the weird thing (or maybe normal thing for old ppl) abt him was that he kept asking where i live and what my name was. and when i answer politely, again and again, he'd repeat the answer. and he told me that he was from the masjid darul ghufran. then HE, somehow, got me thinking...

when am i going to change? i have not been a loyal muslim. i dont do my necessary 5 prayers a day. i dont even touch the quran nimore despite katam-ing twice. ive stopped my religious class since i graduated from sec4. i am really scared that ill drift away. i really dont wanna be what i hate. yeah. im scared. i hope this fear stays for awhile until i find someone that'd remind me always that im muslim and i shud be afraid of the Almighty.

;23rd of january.

i went home to snatch a few stuff for hockey.
on the way back to school, i saw this old man talking to a schoolboy at the overhead bridge. i think he was asking about something. when i got near, i approached him and the old man told me he wanted to know how to get to block 456. i told him what i know. i showed him where i THOUGHT the block would be. he said thanks and he went to the direction i pointed. but at the back of my mind, i didnt want to let him wandering off alone. so i told him, 'pakcik, saye check skejap ehh.' so i headed to the tpjc bustop to check whether any buses head to the place. but non. then he asked this other middleaged man and he told him that the block must be around *pointed to hfzdin's neighbourhood*. then i told the old man that i might know where it is. he requested i accompany him to the block. and so i did. i didnt wanna get lost especially with an old man who can barely walk fast. not that i hate it, i just dont want to burden him further. so i called hfzdin and only then was i sure where i was going. i walked him all the way from tpjc's sidegate to his block. all the way, we talked and shared stories. he asked where i lived, what my name was and where i was going. and i asked why he wanted to get to blk 456 (found that that was where he lives), where he was from and such. told me who he's living with and at what level. to tell u the truth, i was kinda afraid of telling him where i live (block AND storey) and what my name was. but there was something about him that makes me comfortable. and i swear, the journey was one of the longest ive had. i wud walk my normal pace and stop after awhile so he cud catch up cos i cudnt walk any slower. and at zebra crossings and road junctions, i wud wait for him and stop the car before walking with him. i was soooooooooooo scared to get him off my sight. when we finally reached our destination, he said thank you and i ushered him into the lift. and i didnt leave right away, i actually waited for the lift to reach the storey before leaving the place. haha. i got damn worried shit and i have no idea whyyyyyy.
but the weird thing (or maybe normal thing for old ppl) abt him was that he kept asking where i live and what my name was. and when i answer politely, again and again, he'd repeat the answer. and he told me that he was from the masjid darul ghufran. then HE, somehow, got me thinking...

when am i going to change? i have not been a loyal muslim. i dont do my necessary 5 prayers a day. i dont even touch the quran nimore despite katam-ing twice. ive stopped my religious class since i graduated from sec4. i am really scared that ill drift away. i really dont wanna be what i hate. yeah. im scared. i hope this fear stays for awhile until i find someone that'd remind me always that im muslim and i shud be afraid of the Almighty.