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&THE WISE MAN SAYS...

i felt bad about something.
so i told someone cos.. well, it was e person's fault.
and our sms conversation turned into phone conversation.

and for the 50mins.break.75mins, i was not a tad bored.
talking to someone after being absent from phone calls and deep conversation is actually reminiscing..? i swear, i miss talking to someone especially with that someone whom i used to rant to about everything (and the last time was like a year ago?). i miss people listening to what i have to say. i miss sharing my life story to those very few special people.
yeah. the phone call made me miss all that and many more.
truthfully, im not even close to that person but it was because of one common topic that made us start talking then suddenly we were sharing life stories. it was actually quite comfortable and heartwarming. e person got me thinking, got me smiling inside, got me laughing and sometimes got me irritated and frustrated. but in the end, it was all good uh. though its most likely that this'll be the only time, i wanna thank that person.
i learnt alot, really. about the person, about myself, about the impression ill make if was to have a bike, about life, about cramps, about javanese, about school boys, about school girls. i even learnt new words, for goodness sake! (x
erk!

goddammit, im deprived of deep talks. i need more!
actually i had much more to talk about during the phone convo but the handphone was merciless.
haha.


till then.




;23rd of january.

i went home to snatch a few stuff for hockey.
on the way back to school, i saw this old man talking to a schoolboy at the overhead bridge. i think he was asking about something. when i got near, i approached him and the old man told me he wanted to know how to get to block 456. i told him what i know. i showed him where i THOUGHT the block would be. he said thanks and he went to the direction i pointed. but at the back of my mind, i didnt want to let him wandering off alone. so i told him, 'pakcik, saye check skejap ehh.' so i headed to the tpjc bustop to check whether any buses head to the place. but non. then he asked this other middleaged man and he told him that the block must be around *pointed to hfzdin's neighbourhood*. then i told the old man that i might know where it is. he requested i accompany him to the block. and so i did. i didnt wanna get lost especially with an old man who can barely walk fast. not that i hate it, i just dont want to burden him further. so i called hfzdin and only then was i sure where i was going. i walked him all the way from tpjc's sidegate to his block. all the way, we talked and shared stories. he asked where i lived, what my name was and where i was going. and i asked why he wanted to get to blk 456 (found that that was where he lives), where he was from and such. told me who he's living with and at what level. to tell u the truth, i was kinda afraid of telling him where i live (block AND storey) and what my name was. but there was something about him that makes me comfortable. and i swear, the journey was one of the longest ive had. i wud walk my normal pace and stop after awhile so he cud catch up cos i cudnt walk any slower. and at zebra crossings and road junctions, i wud wait for him and stop the car before walking with him. i was soooooooooooo scared to get him off my sight. when we finally reached our destination, he said thank you and i ushered him into the lift. and i didnt leave right away, i actually waited for the lift to reach the storey before leaving the place. haha. i got damn worried shit and i have no idea whyyyyyy.
but the weird thing (or maybe normal thing for old ppl) abt him was that he kept asking where i live and what my name was. and when i answer politely, again and again, he'd repeat the answer. and he told me that he was from the masjid darul ghufran. then HE, somehow, got me thinking...

when am i going to change? i have not been a loyal muslim. i dont do my necessary 5 prayers a day. i dont even touch the quran nimore despite katam-ing twice. ive stopped my religious class since i graduated from sec4. i am really scared that ill drift away. i really dont wanna be what i hate. yeah. im scared. i hope this fear stays for awhile until i find someone that'd remind me always that im muslim and i shud be afraid of the Almighty.



ok fine. ill update.
seriously siaaaa.
i dont know what to talk about.


school's been like shit.
staying up till late EVERYDAY trying to finish up work.

work.. well, somehow, is something i look forward to everytime.
kinda miss my collegues esp kama, rudy, ah soon, ah hon and andy which includes the kitchen ppl. i am gonna be really sad when i leave them soon. but like shuxian told me, its for e best. jj is already crying inside,
'oh man. we wont have anymore pretty girl. pretty girl leaving. (insert sad face)'
darn it.

hmm.. hockey has been fine, i guess.


ok. suddenly i have something to say.

this is to dad:

daddy,
if only u cud read this. if only i am brave enough to say this in ur face. i really really deeply miss u. ure like someone i turn to alot. someone i look up to. someone i am so ever thankful to have in my life. someone i cant imagine living without. i can swear to u, i love u so much that i cant bear seeing us not talking at all. i dont even know how to look at u now. can we just stop this. shit. accompanied by some emo shit song, im tearing right now. dammit.
i donno what to say nimore 'cept i am seriously sorry. i love u so much, dad. please come back. please.

i cant be bothered to think about anything else but this.
sure, there are other things going in my life that are much more interesting and lively but my life just feels incomplete. ERGH.

life;
alot of things have been ongoing.
but i leave it to another day to talk about.
i somehow cant deny anymore that im growing to become some adult.
feeling and thinking matured just makes me feel old.


old;
im turning legal in a few weeks.
woa!

kitten.
bicycle.
school bag.
hockey stick.
red watch.
red camera!
mp3 playa.
the mist. -pending-
step up 2. -pending-
the jumper.
sweeny todd.
ms. gold digger tee from num.
malefriendly tee from num.

so many things, so little $$$.
i guess its true, humans have insatiable desires.



i find lesser need to explain the incidents ive encountered on a day to day basis.

and so..
im just gna give a summary to myself, in case i forget what happened.

life?! its been great. seriously.
im blessed with collegues i can work and chat well with.
i never expect someone opening up so much to me after only a few encounters.
close friends were kept close except for a few like izzat!
became closer with friends i never knew i would.
family has been wonderful.
football nights w daddy were great especially when got treated at an expensive bar.
girl talks w mummy were very stress relieveing tho i believe she will hassle me for more.
yeah. i love my life, actually.
ive always did, i think.

life's too short to hate waste, they i say.


countdown was lonely and lost.
but fireworks were awesome!!!!!
after-countdown was much better.
listening to sufi talk and talk and talk while surprisingly, not falling asleep.
hanging out with those ive missed so much until 4am in the morning.
walking for more than 2.4km! in the dark, sumore.
heh(:


i was a lost sheep on the first day of school.
i was feeling so awkward with everyone. im not that sure why.
but then it got better. felt the comfort once again.
hockey was sooo fun. [and i hardly admit this recently]
ground was quite slippery after the light drizzles.
instead of just falling flat after failing to reach for the ball, i made a freaking 3/4 split.
i swear, i was numb for a moment before looking at both my legs and how far apart they were.
but managed to get back into the game and scored alotta times((:
weeeeeeeeeh. im getting back my hockey momentum. wooh.
[fyi, im feeling the after-strains now. painful sey. i walk like some fatso now. haha.]


today?!
long and dreadful, simply said.
bubbled w hid,mai and fir.
the girls smoked. hfzdn joined. hid farted out LOUD. that was the loudest ive heard from a girl, im serious! hahaha.
lepak sumore after school. talk talk. take one/two pictures.
meeting eja was e right decision.
somehow, i never get bored of listening to her hindustan stories.
so twisted and annoying. haha.
survey at eastpoint for a good salon spot was fruitless.
but the snacks we bought were a good reason for going there.
pizza&sushi. WAH.
i ended up craving for more.
hahhaa.

then studied w hfzdn. good thing i agreed to go. he made me realise how much ive been slacking the prev hols. ish!


""
chatted w azmi.
somehow i wondered why he actually bothered to call me up early in the morning. so i asked, even he didnt know. HAH. shows alott about his slengerness.
and though we're not that close, i see some effort from him trying to make this friendship stronger. how sweet.
(:


after being persuaded by apek sayor to go to sleep because my complexion will just deterioriate if i dont, im being a good minah and going to sleep now.
gdnite darlings.



im frustrated.
im annoyed.
at something?or at someone?

&THE WISE MAN SAYS...

i felt bad about something.
so i told someone cos.. well, it was e person's fault.
and our sms conversation turned into phone conversation.

and for the 50mins.break.75mins, i was not a tad bored.
talking to someone after being absent from phone calls and deep conversation is actually reminiscing..? i swear, i miss talking to someone especially with that someone whom i used to rant to about everything (and the last time was like a year ago?). i miss people listening to what i have to say. i miss sharing my life story to those very few special people.
yeah. the phone call made me miss all that and many more.
truthfully, im not even close to that person but it was because of one common topic that made us start talking then suddenly we were sharing life stories. it was actually quite comfortable and heartwarming. e person got me thinking, got me smiling inside, got me laughing and sometimes got me irritated and frustrated. but in the end, it was all good uh. though its most likely that this'll be the only time, i wanna thank that person.
i learnt alot, really. about the person, about myself, about the impression ill make if was to have a bike, about life, about cramps, about javanese, about school boys, about school girls. i even learnt new words, for goodness sake! (x
erk!

goddammit, im deprived of deep talks. i need more!
actually i had much more to talk about during the phone convo but the handphone was merciless.
haha.


till then.



;23rd of january.

i went home to snatch a few stuff for hockey.
on the way back to school, i saw this old man talking to a schoolboy at the overhead bridge. i think he was asking about something. when i got near, i approached him and the old man told me he wanted to know how to get to block 456. i told him what i know. i showed him where i THOUGHT the block would be. he said thanks and he went to the direction i pointed. but at the back of my mind, i didnt want to let him wandering off alone. so i told him, 'pakcik, saye check skejap ehh.' so i headed to the tpjc bustop to check whether any buses head to the place. but non. then he asked this other middleaged man and he told him that the block must be around *pointed to hfzdin's neighbourhood*. then i told the old man that i might know where it is. he requested i accompany him to the block. and so i did. i didnt wanna get lost especially with an old man who can barely walk fast. not that i hate it, i just dont want to burden him further. so i called hfzdin and only then was i sure where i was going. i walked him all the way from tpjc's sidegate to his block. all the way, we talked and shared stories. he asked where i lived, what my name was and where i was going. and i asked why he wanted to get to blk 456 (found that that was where he lives), where he was from and such. told me who he's living with and at what level. to tell u the truth, i was kinda afraid of telling him where i live (block AND storey) and what my name was. but there was something about him that makes me comfortable. and i swear, the journey was one of the longest ive had. i wud walk my normal pace and stop after awhile so he cud catch up cos i cudnt walk any slower. and at zebra crossings and road junctions, i wud wait for him and stop the car before walking with him. i was soooooooooooo scared to get him off my sight. when we finally reached our destination, he said thank you and i ushered him into the lift. and i didnt leave right away, i actually waited for the lift to reach the storey before leaving the place. haha. i got damn worried shit and i have no idea whyyyyyy.
but the weird thing (or maybe normal thing for old ppl) abt him was that he kept asking where i live and what my name was. and when i answer politely, again and again, he'd repeat the answer. and he told me that he was from the masjid darul ghufran. then HE, somehow, got me thinking...

when am i going to change? i have not been a loyal muslim. i dont do my necessary 5 prayers a day. i dont even touch the quran nimore despite katam-ing twice. ive stopped my religious class since i graduated from sec4. i am really scared that ill drift away. i really dont wanna be what i hate. yeah. im scared. i hope this fear stays for awhile until i find someone that'd remind me always that im muslim and i shud be afraid of the Almighty.


ok fine. ill update.
seriously siaaaa.
i dont know what to talk about.


school's been like shit.
staying up till late EVERYDAY trying to finish up work.

work.. well, somehow, is something i look forward to everytime.
kinda miss my collegues esp kama, rudy, ah soon, ah hon and andy which includes the kitchen ppl. i am gonna be really sad when i leave them soon. but like shuxian told me, its for e best. jj is already crying inside,
'oh man. we wont have anymore pretty girl. pretty girl leaving. (insert sad face)'
darn it.

hmm.. hockey has been fine, i guess.


ok. suddenly i have something to say.

this is to dad:

daddy,
if only u cud read this. if only i am brave enough to say this in ur face. i really really deeply miss u. ure like someone i turn to alot. someone i look up to. someone i am so ever thankful to have in my life. someone i cant imagine living without. i can swear to u, i love u so much that i cant bear seeing us not talking at all. i dont even know how to look at u now. can we just stop this. shit. accompanied by some emo shit song, im tearing right now. dammit.
i donno what to say nimore 'cept i am seriously sorry. i love u so much, dad. please come back. please.

i cant be bothered to think about anything else but this.
sure, there are other things going in my life that are much more interesting and lively but my life just feels incomplete. ERGH.

life;
alot of things have been ongoing.
but i leave it to another day to talk about.
i somehow cant deny anymore that im growing to become some adult.
feeling and thinking matured just makes me feel old.


old;
im turning legal in a few weeks.
woa!

kitten.
bicycle.
school bag.
hockey stick.
red watch.
red camera!
mp3 playa.
the mist. -pending-
step up 2. -pending-
the jumper.
sweeny todd.
ms. gold digger tee from num.
malefriendly tee from num.

so many things, so little $$$.
i guess its true, humans have insatiable desires.


i find lesser need to explain the incidents ive encountered on a day to day basis.

and so..
im just gna give a summary to myself, in case i forget what happened.

life?! its been great. seriously.
im blessed with collegues i can work and chat well with.
i never expect someone opening up so much to me after only a few encounters.
close friends were kept close except for a few like izzat!
became closer with friends i never knew i would.
family has been wonderful.
football nights w daddy were great especially when got treated at an expensive bar.
girl talks w mummy were very stress relieveing tho i believe she will hassle me for more.
yeah. i love my life, actually.
ive always did, i think.

life's too short to hate waste, they i say.


countdown was lonely and lost.
but fireworks were awesome!!!!!
after-countdown was much better.
listening to sufi talk and talk and talk while surprisingly, not falling asleep.
hanging out with those ive missed so much until 4am in the morning.
walking for more than 2.4km! in the dark, sumore.
heh(:


i was a lost sheep on the first day of school.
i was feeling so awkward with everyone. im not that sure why.
but then it got better. felt the comfort once again.
hockey was sooo fun. [and i hardly admit this recently]
ground was quite slippery after the light drizzles.
instead of just falling flat after failing to reach for the ball, i made a freaking 3/4 split.
i swear, i was numb for a moment before looking at both my legs and how far apart they were.
but managed to get back into the game and scored alotta times((:
weeeeeeeeeh. im getting back my hockey momentum. wooh.
[fyi, im feeling the after-strains now. painful sey. i walk like some fatso now. haha.]


today?!
long and dreadful, simply said.
bubbled w hid,mai and fir.
the girls smoked. hfzdn joined. hid farted out LOUD. that was the loudest ive heard from a girl, im serious! hahaha.
lepak sumore after school. talk talk. take one/two pictures.
meeting eja was e right decision.
somehow, i never get bored of listening to her hindustan stories.
so twisted and annoying. haha.
survey at eastpoint for a good salon spot was fruitless.
but the snacks we bought were a good reason for going there.
pizza&sushi. WAH.
i ended up craving for more.
hahhaa.

then studied w hfzdn. good thing i agreed to go. he made me realise how much ive been slacking the prev hols. ish!


""
chatted w azmi.
somehow i wondered why he actually bothered to call me up early in the morning. so i asked, even he didnt know. HAH. shows alott about his slengerness.
and though we're not that close, i see some effort from him trying to make this friendship stronger. how sweet.
(:


after being persuaded by apek sayor to go to sleep because my complexion will just deterioriate if i dont, im being a good minah and going to sleep now.
gdnite darlings.



im frustrated.
im annoyed.
at something?or at someone?