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im blessed with wonderful friends(:
i feel loved everyday.
i can almost readily say that i can never be/feel alone anymore.
isnt that good?



these few days have been filled with laughter and solacement.
i enjoyed myself very much.
meeting new people, making new friends.
hanging out with a new bunch of buddies.

but somehow, at the end of the day, i feel empty.

there are so few close friends of mine.
close friends i can turn to when i need them or just to be there for me.
i miss my old friends):

its never easy for me to make close friends.
making friends, easy pea-sy. of course.
im not always ready.
i have doubts.
i trust everyone, its the devil in them that i dont trust.
basically, i question their trust.
nyargh. i hate being so difficult.

i think i need more confidants.


.:.:.:.
for the very first time after suuuuuuuuuch a long time,
i took an afternoon nap at home.
i missed that. just that.
wait. maybe my bed, tv, toilet and granny's cooking too(:


i miss hugs!


istillsecretlyselfishlywantu.



Your positive traits:
You've got a ton of friends, so you have no problem meeting new people.
You're great at thinking up new things and activities to do with your sweetie.
You tend to let the little things slide in relationships... and focus on the bigger picture.

Your negative traits:
In relationships, it tends to be your way or the highway.
You can never open up completely to someone - you have to keep parts of yourself secret.
You're cold and reserved, which leaves your partner feeling unloved.

Your ideal partner:
Flexible, because you're not going to be the one to compromise!
Is smart and quirky with lots of weird interests... including you.
A true individualist who doesn't care what anyone thinks

Your dating style:
Stimulating. You prefer dates that explore a shared interest - like a lecture, muesum tour, or concert.

Your seduction style:
Wacky. Your wild ideas have your lover wondering what's next.
Insatiable - it takes a lot to satisfy your desires.
Varied. You're eager to try things as soon as you learn about them.

Tips for the future:
Bring a little responsibility to your relationship - like showing up for dates!
Compromise a little. It would kill you to do things your lover's way for once.
Be aware of your partner's jealousy. Even though you aren't jealous, realize your partner is sometimes.



somewhat accurate. dont ya think?
haha.



its frightening to see girls crying over a breakup.
makes me think aloooot aloooot.

she loved him alot.
i cud tell.
pictures in her phone.
wallpaper on the computer screen.
constant conversations about him.
the things she bought for him.

today, she just lost him.
i went down and saw her crying her heart out.
eyes were already swollen and red.
i got so scared.
it actually freaked me out.
'wow. a breakup can be that bad huh?'
and it made me wonder.
how vulnerable can a girl be?


on another note,
im having second thots.
superficial friendship?
hmmm.. lets just wait and see, yeah?
its never easy to open up. so give them time.
dont give up just yet! i really want this to work out.







13032007(:

i'll never forget this date.
`weeheee.






`WEEEEEEEEEEEEE
i wudve pasted the WHOLE convo but it was too long.
yeah, we have sweet ones, shrtl. ((:
forever seems long but it might just work out.
QUADRO! *grins widely*



i forgot why i cared so much.
i forgot why i got angry at you.
i forgot why i felt like breaking down.
wait..
maybe i never knew why in the first place.
why?


....
mother.
stop shouting.
stop blaming others aimlessly.
stop thinking ure always right.
stop lying.
stop doubting us.
stop hating me. or at the least, stop pretending that u hate me if u say u love me.
in any case, pretend u care for me, for ONCE. pls.
how i longed for that.


...
im sick of always trying to be so nice, but get no credit for it.
im sick of accepting all the blames because others dont want to own up.
im sick of all the lies and pretence in this place.
im sick of hiding my doldrums and tears.
get me out of this place.
or let me feel im safe in this place. called home.
let me feel im loved.






yuni and her mind. hah.
oh wells.
im still smiling((:



roller coaster ride for me today.


ergh.
i WAS happy. but u stole that away from me.
i knew this thing is never going to be successful.
talking to u is like talking to a brick wall.
i just get angrier everytime i dont get the reply i want.
im so mad at u that i forgot why.

i didnt feel like being nice today.
u shud be thankful i didnt throw vulgarities at u.



it turned out for the better. yeah.
heh. i like(:
keeps me grinning everytime. wahaha.

-------

the responsibility is much harder than i thought.
especially w members who cant be bothered to cooperate.
end up exhausting myself.
2 more days to go. fooh.
called 10 of the members and only 5 are coming tmr.
haha. EESH!
no comments.



SHRTL! my bloody goondo annoyingly slenger bestfriend,
i cant see me without you here. seriously.
so u betta try ur very best to get into tpjc ok.
when there's a will, there's ALWAYS a way.
dont give up just yet, pls.
u dont know how much i WE want you to be here.
i love u(:

im blessed with wonderful friends(:
i feel loved everyday.
i can almost readily say that i can never be/feel alone anymore.
isnt that good?


these few days have been filled with laughter and solacement.
i enjoyed myself very much.
meeting new people, making new friends.
hanging out with a new bunch of buddies.

but somehow, at the end of the day, i feel empty.

there are so few close friends of mine.
close friends i can turn to when i need them or just to be there for me.
i miss my old friends):

its never easy for me to make close friends.
making friends, easy pea-sy. of course.
im not always ready.
i have doubts.
i trust everyone, its the devil in them that i dont trust.
basically, i question their trust.
nyargh. i hate being so difficult.

i think i need more confidants.


.:.:.:.
for the very first time after suuuuuuuuuch a long time,
i took an afternoon nap at home.
i missed that. just that.
wait. maybe my bed, tv, toilet and granny's cooking too(:


i miss hugs!


istillsecretlyselfishlywantu.


Your positive traits:
You've got a ton of friends, so you have no problem meeting new people.
You're great at thinking up new things and activities to do with your sweetie.
You tend to let the little things slide in relationships... and focus on the bigger picture.

Your negative traits:
In relationships, it tends to be your way or the highway.
You can never open up completely to someone - you have to keep parts of yourself secret.
You're cold and reserved, which leaves your partner feeling unloved.

Your ideal partner:
Flexible, because you're not going to be the one to compromise!
Is smart and quirky with lots of weird interests... including you.
A true individualist who doesn't care what anyone thinks

Your dating style:
Stimulating. You prefer dates that explore a shared interest - like a lecture, muesum tour, or concert.

Your seduction style:
Wacky. Your wild ideas have your lover wondering what's next.
Insatiable - it takes a lot to satisfy your desires.
Varied. You're eager to try things as soon as you learn about them.

Tips for the future:
Bring a little responsibility to your relationship - like showing up for dates!
Compromise a little. It would kill you to do things your lover's way for once.
Be aware of your partner's jealousy. Even though you aren't jealous, realize your partner is sometimes.



somewhat accurate. dont ya think?
haha.


its frightening to see girls crying over a breakup.
makes me think aloooot aloooot.

she loved him alot.
i cud tell.
pictures in her phone.
wallpaper on the computer screen.
constant conversations about him.
the things she bought for him.

today, she just lost him.
i went down and saw her crying her heart out.
eyes were already swollen and red.
i got so scared.
it actually freaked me out.
'wow. a breakup can be that bad huh?'
and it made me wonder.
how vulnerable can a girl be?


on another note,
im having second thots.
superficial friendship?
hmmm.. lets just wait and see, yeah?
its never easy to open up. so give them time.
dont give up just yet! i really want this to work out.





13032007(:

i'll never forget this date.
`weeheee.






`WEEEEEEEEEEEEE
i wudve pasted the WHOLE convo but it was too long.
yeah, we have sweet ones, shrtl. ((:
forever seems long but it might just work out.
QUADRO! *grins widely*


i forgot why i cared so much.
i forgot why i got angry at you.
i forgot why i felt like breaking down.
wait..
maybe i never knew why in the first place.
why?


....
mother.
stop shouting.
stop blaming others aimlessly.
stop thinking ure always right.
stop lying.
stop doubting us.
stop hating me. or at the least, stop pretending that u hate me if u say u love me.
in any case, pretend u care for me, for ONCE. pls.
how i longed for that.


...
im sick of always trying to be so nice, but get no credit for it.
im sick of accepting all the blames because others dont want to own up.
im sick of all the lies and pretence in this place.
im sick of hiding my doldrums and tears.
get me out of this place.
or let me feel im safe in this place. called home.
let me feel im loved.






yuni and her mind. hah.
oh wells.
im still smiling((:


roller coaster ride for me today.


ergh.
i WAS happy. but u stole that away from me.
i knew this thing is never going to be successful.
talking to u is like talking to a brick wall.
i just get angrier everytime i dont get the reply i want.
im so mad at u that i forgot why.

i didnt feel like being nice today.
u shud be thankful i didnt throw vulgarities at u.


it turned out for the better. yeah.
heh. i like(:
keeps me grinning everytime. wahaha.

-------

the responsibility is much harder than i thought.
especially w members who cant be bothered to cooperate.
end up exhausting myself.
2 more days to go. fooh.
called 10 of the members and only 5 are coming tmr.
haha. EESH!
no comments.



SHRTL! my bloody goondo annoyingly slenger bestfriend,
i cant see me without you here. seriously.
so u betta try ur very best to get into tpjc ok.
when there's a will, there's ALWAYS a way.
dont give up just yet, pls.
u dont know how much i WE want you to be here.
i love u(: