Wednesday, May 31, 2006
i hate them. they went too far yesterday. i almost cried. its ironic that the closest beings to you dont really... [should i use the word care?] pay attention to what you're feeling. it hurts, real bad. only god knows what i was feeling that time. my heart literally shattered into million pieces. if i wasnt this strong, i would have just ran away. i tolerated their shit my whole life, they should atleast thank me for that. but what did they do? disappoint me even more. SHOW ME THAT YOU CARE. i wanted to shout at them, blurt out all the things i wanted them to know at that moment. but i didnt. i spared them the embarrassment. but i did go against them. and for the first time, there wasnt a shadow of guilt at all. hooray me...? this was supposed to prolong for a period of time. but the next morning, it was back to normal. i didnt have the guts to continue this behaviour. it wasnt because of them but the others. i love them too much. and its no doubt that they couldnt live without me. the responsibility i have to carry is heavy but i managed to perform it and still am. it wasnt always good or excellent but i did it. sometimes with no help from others. and now, all i ask from them is a thank you.
and it seems like i dont need anyone to be there for me but im human too.
♥ 5:41 AM
